Learning how to master a difficult conversation is a skill anyone can develop. It is key to having healthy relationships, creating greater success in your business, and experiencing more joy in your life.
Many of my clients have shared with me they’ve put off having an important conversation with their spouse, kids, friends, boss, co-worker, or business partner for over a year! That’s a long time!
Imagine a year of your life!
How many times have you said “that is it! I’m going to pick up the phone and have that conversation with my client(or boss, spouse , etc).” What happens?
You start talking yourself out of it and then FEAR takes over. The fear of confrontation, fear of hurting someone’s feelings, fear of losing a relationship or your job, and fear of rejection.(just to name a few!) The list goes on…..
Have you ever had that feeling when you’re about to enter a difficult conversation and all of a sudden you have this horrible feeling in your stomach or you feel this intense stress running through your body. That is called the “fight or flight”response.
This happens when we are entering what I call the “unsafe zone”. Instead, we decide not to engage in the conversation because it feels safer to avoid the conversation than to engage.
Your mind is filled with thoughts based on assumptions and how the other person may or may not react.
What is the cost of avoiding that difficult conversation?
Overtime, it causes resentment, guilt, stress, missed opportunities, failed relationships, and contributes to physical disease.
How is fear holding you back from having that important conversation?
How to we move through the fear of having the difficult conversation?
First, be gentle with yourself. It takes a lot of courage to say what needs to be said and not what people want to hear. This is why I call these difficult conversations “courageous conversations.”
The definition of mindset is “a fixed mental attitude or disposition that predetermines a person’s responses to and interpretations of situations. It is all about perspective and how you see a situation.
If you think the conversation is going to be a “bad situation” or is going to go south then it will probably turn out that way. Let go of any judgment, negative self-talk or assumptions about how the other person may react.
Here are 7 key strategies in creating a Courageous Mindset:
- Don’t take things personally and practice what I call “passionate detachment”. Detach from the outcome.
- Listen to your heart and stand strong in your core values.
- Stay present and focused.
- Clear your emotions prior to entering a difficult conversation. Manage your emotions and don’t allow yourself to become triggered by the other person.
- Set healthy boundaries.
- Come from a place of compassion(not winning a battle).
- Ask God for some guidance, patience, and wisdom.
If you weren’t afraid what conversations would you be having?
To receive further help on how to plan and prepare for any difficult conversations you need to have with confidence, clarity, and courage scroll down below and register for your Courageous Conversations Preparation Check List Tool™.